Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A concern of mine

Tonight I saw the third part of a three-part NOVA series on "Our Elegant Universe" which largely deals with String Theory. During these episodes my mother intermittantly falls asleep and wakes up, complaining that I should wake her when they've proven the theory.

But my concern is in regard to Fermilab's atom smasher, and its liberation of gravitrons. When atomic particles [the ones we know and some of us love: neutrons, protons] approach the speed of light and collide head-on, myriad SUB-atomic particles are released. You know, quarks! One of these quarks may be the ellusive gravitron which can only be detected by noting its absence. Why are they absent? Why don't they stay bombarding the walls of Fermilab's atom smasher?

It's because they have passed into other dimensions. You know, the ones that Rod Serling is so fond of imagining. So every time Fermilab achieves a successful head on collision, X number of gravitrons are released into other dimentions.

THIS BOTHERS ME.

For what impact do these excess gravitrons on the other dimensions they escape into? Here we are complaining about this ozone-depleting whatchamicallit and who knows what gravitrons are doing to folks in other dimensions! I have a picket sign ready to stop atom smashing, and I'll be outside Fermilab at the end of the week protesting. WHO'S WITH ME?!

WHO IS WITH ME? WHO?!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think about subatomic particles a lot!
But do you really think they are in another dimension?
Maybe they are just so small at that point that the scientist just loses them. I lose my shoes all the time and they are way bigger than a quark!
But i'm not all smart like you scientists, so my opinion is less valid.

Lena Webb said...

Good! Bren's in! What's your sign going to say?

Mine's going to say "FIND BRENDON'S SHOES, FERMILAB!"

Anonymous said...

My sign will say:
GET YOUR OWN GRAVITRONS, TANGENT UNIVERSE!!!

Anonymous said...

Junior year of high school I went to fermilab. To learn about quarks. Not on a field trip. And I didn't learn shit.

I'll lead the caravan, I know the way to Bumblefuck, Illinois!

My sign will say "GOD CREATED THE UNIVERSE. P.S. Evolution is a lie created my satan worshipers."