Pssst...

Hey Watson... I'd make a great graduate student, don't you think?

How could I forget?!...

The hottest old man of all! He's so hot and old that he's DEAD!

Rod Serling.

"You unlock this door with the key of imagination, beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into . . . The Twilight Zone."

His birthday is Christmas Day! Celebrate!

The only thing on MY Christmas list

This December, Stephen Hawking becomes a new addition to the list of "Old Men That I Want and Why I Want Them" along with Alan Alda.

I just saw an interview with Stephen Hawkings on PBS and I have to admit-- I'm charmed. The man is charming. And, thank God, he has great eyes. The BBC made a TV drama about his "early years" and I want to own it. Just go to the link and look at ths picture of "Young Stephen Hawking" as portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch in:

"Hawking"

God yes.

Now let's do this in adherence to the format I adopted last time:

Alan Alda
Age: 69!
Why I want: I'll admit, it's not necessarily the "Old Alan Alda" that does it for me. In fact, my love for him comes primarily from his character Capt. Benjamin Franklin Pierce of the 4077th M*A*S*H unit, or more fondly, "Capt. Hawkeye." As his fictional counterpart, Alan Alda is described as a "cheeky surgeon" and damn right they are-- he's so cheeky, and cheeky is HOT. He's quick as a switch and as sarcastic as a... switch. He suffers the idiocy of the government with his tongue planted firmly in his cheek, and helps other people stay sane as well. While I suffer the idiocy of the government during this wartime [we ARE at war, you know] Alan helps me stay sane every evening on the Hallmark Channel with back-to-back M*A*S*H repeats. Additionally, he hosts the PBS series Scientific American Frontiers, and I don't think I need to elaborate on why THAT'S hot.

Stephen Hawking
Age: 63
Why I want: Let's just tally up the hot points here-- he's a physicist. A THEORETICAL physicist, actually. Count it!

He doesn't look bad for 63 and having been confined to a robot chair for his entire adult life due to progressive ALS. I only wish they'd taken better care of his teeth for him... He is British though, and the chair makes him pretty much a cyborg-- so count it twice!

The man is a stud-- he's got three kids and a hot wife AND 12 honorary degrees.

His research is concerned primarily with unifying quantum mechanics with Einstein's general theory of relativity, forming a single theory to explain the origin (and end) of the universe.

I bet he makes an awesome drinking buddy.

Old men that I want, and why I want them

Leonard Nimoy

Age: 74
Why I want: Huge "DUH!" This is Mr. Spock, contrary to what the man states in his first autobiography entitled "I am not Spock." Sorry Leonard, you will forever and inextricably be linked to the human/alien hybrid character with no emotion and stunning cheek bones. And you're still damned hot at 74.

Bernie

Age: 51
Why I want: It's really a shame that there isn't a better picture of this man. Bernie dissected a fetal pig in his 10th grade Biology class while tripping on mescalin and, looking back, said "Maybe that's why I like Biology so much!"

Richard Belzer

Age: 61
Why I want: He only has one testicle and LOOK at him. I bet he can make testicles grow out of anything just by squinting through his tinted lenses. He plays a hot old sarcastic detective on television, wears lots of black and grey, and those cheekbones. GAH!

Tom Cech

Age: 58
Why I want: He discovered catalytic RNAs [ribozymes] thus giving further support to the "RNA World Hypothesis." Nothing could be hotter than THAT. Also, he met his current wife over a melting point apparatus in a make-up organic chemistry lab. I love hearing about how scientists love, and it makes me want to love a scientist.

Charlie Rose

Age: 63
Why I want: The man obviously has extensive sexual prowess. Sure he looks derranged, but that's why he's so hot! Somewhere behind those madman's eyes is a glimmer of the most stable stability. After you've just had sweaty animal sex, that's what he uses to look at you with. Then you both smoke two packs right there. In Charlie Rose's huge circular bed.