Things to Never Say
re: babies
1. "Let's make a baby."
2. "I want my baby inside of you."
Should the baby thing happen, never say the following:
1. "Feeling my baby inside of you is amazing."
2. "There is a miracle in your belly."
3. "You are so beautiful right now."
4. "I'm so jealous of our baby because it's in your beautiful miracle chamber right now."
5 comments:
shit, I've already said two thirds of those things.
I usually say things like "I want to put my evil inside you," or "I love your cooking, by which I mean to say I will be eating the 'bun' that is curently in your oven. Nothing beats a nine-month marinade!"
This allows me to neatly avoid the issue of making babies altogether.
You just said it! "Making babies"!! NEVER are you supposed to say that!
Lena, I want to fill you with babies...
I request that this become a recurring feature here at lena.webb.org. Also that you let me impregnate you wth my special, biological, interfacial adapter.
I want to be your sledgehammer?
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