Thursday, May 04, 2006

Wine of the Month Review #1

For my birthday, dear friend Mackenzie signed me up for a "Wine of the Month" club. Technically, it should be [Billy Joel's] Wine[s] of the Month club, because today I received both a bottle of red and a bottle of white. I didn't have to sign for them or anything-- I guess my mailbox does come off as pretty mature.

Because these wines look like they may cost more than $8.99, I thought I should review them. Cheers, Kenz.

Name: Boccadigabbia
Date: 2003
Origin: New Jersey. Ha ha, just kidding. Italy.
Alcohol content: 14.5%

"Denominazione di origine controllata," reads the label, right below the name Rosso Piceno. As I take the first sip of this nearly opaque red wine the phrase translates itself.

"Slaves made this wine."

The image on the label is of a humble estate and a rusty-looking old flatbed pick-up truck carrying three barrels-- so very clearly oak barrels-- filled, presumably, with the 2003 Boccadigabbia.

This wine, when swirled, does not drip back down the sides of the glass. It shellacs the concavity of the wine glass until it's cylindrical. This wine doesn't just have legs, it has legs and cankles. Thick, sturdy, legs capable of long hard hours on the job. I'd say this wine could probably work at least 19 hours a day, maybe 17 in the sun.

Did I mention that "Boccadigabbia" is Italian for "human mouth bit"?

The last sip of this wine brings with it intensely tart cherry flavors, with following hints of gooseberry and a whispering finish of vanilla. The cherry flavors are so intense, that if you breathe through your mouth and nose simultaneously while holding the wineglass just below your lips, you may drool. Just a little. Until you get the feeling that a wiry, thin-lipped, Italian man is standing in the corner with a whip. Then you pull yourself together and swirl the glass a bit.

When you Google "Rosso Piceno" you get some pictures of other wine bottles, and this estate:See that tower on the left? That's where the 37 wine slaves sleep.

1 comment:

Accidentally Disastrous said...

Lena, I think that you are very funny. Thank god you write blogs.