Sunday, December 31, 2006

The Lab, part II, etc.

Yesterday was kinda technical, and I apologize. All those machines... Today will be more visual, verbal, and sardonic.

Being a graduate student, I have to park in the commuter lot. This means that I have to walk up a lot of stairs, across a bridge, and up some more stairs. Now that there is a little bit of snow I can see the footprints of other dedicated students, and I'll honestly tell you right now that I'm disappointed. If I ever try to tell you I'm not judgemental, feel free to slap me and assume I'm obliteratively drunk because I pretty much hate this person:
You know those shoes, you hate those people. Right?

Next, I'll show you the banner that has been spread across the street bridge for months. If you can tell me what, to you, says "Jubilee" about sunken red eyes, then I'll give you $150 and a hand job, regardless of gender.


And here is that first set of stairs-- my frail calves are literally crackling with anticipation!


I just noticed yesterday that some of the windows of my building are mirrored! I think it's time for someone to get over him/herself. I hope they loved watching me take this picture, and that they snickered and turned back to their lame-ass neuroscience or whatever.

Here are two gross things I forgot to photograph yesterday: In sequence, the radioactive waste cabinet and the discarded media plate bucket.

The latter smells REALLY AWFUL.

On a more personal note, I fucked up in a huge way in the lab today. I literally tipped over all my samples and set myself back about 3.5 days. I only have 5 more days until the end of my rotation, and so I would call that a major setback. I couldn't do much about it, except throw all my little tubes in the trash and inoculate some new starter cultures [see last post for equipment used in said process]. So I thought I'd mosey to the break room for a break. On the way, I passed by the Sunny Nook. It's the most apparently comforting area in the hallway, and it is actually about five degrees warmer than anywhere else.

And this is "anywhere else"
Does this say anything other than "busily walk into some other door and GET TO WORK?"

In the break room I noticed this mug:
I would very much like to steal it, as it's only being used as a pen holder but I won't... I'll just covet from afar.

Also in the break room is a manual for lab heads or Principal Investigators [PIs] and I find it amusing if not downright hilarious. Why? Look!
Oh no! What have I gotten myself into here?? This next page offers some kind of support for the PIs of a lab in which someone has committed suicide:
But it probably WAS your fault, PI! You probably made your student feel like ASS and completely overblew the importance of your research and made the student want to DIE! WAY TO GO!

This is another funny page in the manual, simply because I went through hell applying to graduate school and here is a little bulleted list that makes people like me sound like a population both sought after and easily found!
I have a few bullet points to add.

1) Side of the road wearing a modest sweater but VERY INSISTANT that he/she will suck your dick!

2) For free!

3) In a local liquor store, buying Yellowtail

4) In a library, crying

What a shitty stupid book. The name of it is "At the Helm: A Laboratory Navigator" by Kathy Barker-- who also wrote "At the Bench: A Laboratory Navigator" which is supposedly for graduate students. Well Happy New Year, Kathy Barker, and fuck you! Any idiot knows that the graduate school experience differs vastly based on MANY FACTORS so for YOU to write a MANUAL is RIDICULOUS. I hope everyone in your lab commits suicide. You probably work for some mail order make-up catalogue anyway. Go back to high school.

But that brings me right up to the New Year's Eve. I pledge [resolve, whatever. This is all dumb boy scout shit anyway] to eat better. Like this:


I also pledge to drink more Bloody Marys.

3 comments:

jenovus said...

I think that you are deteriorating. Your entries are still filled with energy, but more in the manner of "smoking crack rocks in order to mask the exhaustion" than the previous "hopeful optimism." Actually, I am not sure you were ever optimistic.

I think that you are deteriorating. But so am I!

Mackenzie said...

OH MY GOD. I have so much to respond to.

1. Bloody Mary's are definitely healthy. They have tomato juice and a celery. So go you for keeping your resolution.
2. Suicide most definitely is a possibility. One that I keep as a warm, cozy reminder that I don't NECESSARILY have to be in grad school. I COULD get out.
3. If not in lab, I can usually be found crying in the bathroom OR guiltily eating (aka giving blow jobs) in a corner (aka on the side of the road)
3. Those waste containers really should be in some sort of secondary container and they should also be in a "satellite" waste station. Just like Dave Matthews.
4. I do hate people with those shoes. (p.s. when did it snow?)
4. Let's get dinner.

Mackenzie said...

that's right, I had two #4's. deal with it.